Tears are words that the heart can’t say…

Dec 2, 2014

Hello Wall, Hello tears, I wondered when you’d come in force? Not in a blabbering way, just in a fearful teary way…

I just knew you wouldn’t be far.

After a good and drug induced sleep I woke up a bit lots with the anticipation of my neck line being placed at a bout 8:30am this morning. I’d heard differing thing about pain and pressure, and stitches and and an unconmfortable feeling.

I didn’t score the whole lottery but manage to shed a zillion tears in the anticipation of it all.

I even tried to distract myself in the surgical ward where 2 young doctors were on hand saying ‘don’t cry’, ‘ no tears’. They were the sweetest. I’m jus ta crier, it’s what I do, all the anticipation and no words to describe it.

Anyhoo, I had trusty Mickhail who was at my side and checked over the equipment, he approved.

The lovely doctor that also took me in “Nickolai’ was also calm and reassuring.

I just breathed through the 10 minute without incident and i’m fine, a little unconfortable but fine. Let’s just call it the new accessory for the northern 2014 / 25 winter collection.

The tubes are also another step closer to killing the MS beast. Tomorrow they will withdraw 2 million stem cells from my own blood stream which will then be magnetically cleaned ready to reboot my stem beyond the chemo phase. Clever little suckers are they. To collect the stemmas, I’ll be on a version of dialysis for 5-6 hours give or take. Unable to move, and if 2 Million aren’t collected on day 1, I have another go on Wednesday. I’ve been informed to have juice, snacks and devices on had at all times during the process as there is NO option to get up for ANYTHING. Get my drift.

I think the tears have subsided for now, so thanks for all the love and support. I’m doing this will all of you and the MS beast will not be returning to Australia with me in a couple of weeks. But let’s just look at one day at at time. For now.

Oh I was also taken most efficiently my Dr Nikolai to Xray to check and see f the line is all secure and in the right place. It is. Relief.

A teary day but it’s just what i do.
FSJ x

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