It’s quiet. Really quiet. Not church mouse quiet, but still quiet.
I’ve now been an inpatient at the he A.A. Maximov Department of Hematology and Cellular Therapy, National Pirogov Medical Surgical Center, Moscow, Russia under the care Dr. Denis Fedorenko and his amazing support team.
Not that I’ve ‘loved’ the bubble I’ve become so familiar with, but it’s been a secure blanket for me now.
I’ve know what’s what, what the routine is and what’s expected of me and learnt what my strengths and faults are in adapting to such an environment. I’ve tried to be a good patient and friend to other patients – sorry when I’ve failed.
Come to think of it, I’ve never spent more than one night in a hospital?
But now he says I can go home. WTF.
He’s halted the progression of my Multiple Sclerosis.
I’m delighted, thrilled, happy, ecstatic, delirious, emotional (ALL THE EMOTIONS) but terrified to leave.
It’s also now in the past couple of hours I have some quiet time to think about what’s actually happened here over the past month.
I’m not an overly religious person, but I’m Catholic and I do have faith. I’m not a brave person, I’ve never thought of my self as a dare-devil or a risk taker.
I have an awesome family, fantastic friends (near, far and around the world) and if that’s any measure, I’m a lucky girl. Or does luck have anything actually to do with it… Another post perhaps.
I just like to say yes, get shit done and look after other people.
MS was a bitch to get in the way of all that. Let me tell you.
So glad it’s gone.
By the way when I say it’s gone, the active disease has gone. Some of my symptoms still may remain but I’ve already seen great changes but they may come and go over the next 12 – 24 months, it’s only then the full results will be evident. Turns out I’m going to be working on getting some patience too.
This month it’s been hard to let other people look after me, even though I’ve tried to put it on my terms – where possible. Even the lead up to coming to Russia was hard, but I was supported so that made it easier. Many don’t have the resources that I do.
Dr. Fedorenko his treatment contributes 50% towards my life without MS .
The other 50% is up to me, and the people who love me. Please forgive me in advance – I’ll be on the sharing roller coaster. Sometimes I’ll want to talk, sometimes I won’t. ‘
They’ say it’s just one day at a time.
I’ll still pop out and surprise you though.
So, I guess it’s goodbye MS and goodbye Moscow.
It’s a bittersweet goodbye, but I’ll take it.
And as the snowflakes in Moscow fall again, I’ll finish packing my things and board the flight and be home again, home again before the sun’s up on Boxing Day.
I got what I wanted for Christmas.